I have an ancestor, Wanda David, as told to me by my mother. It is not a very common name. I found someone who lived in pretty much the same town, and was born in almost the same year, and there are often mistakes concerning birth year, so I think it is a match, but I am confused about one thing. The censuses show her living at home with her mother basically throughout her entire life, along with I think it was four other adult children. But my Wanda David got married - or so I thought - and had two children with a man who lived the next town over. And the directories that I found say that Wanda was living with my great grandfather there, in the next town over from her mom. So there is a conflict concerning where she was living, if this is the match that I still strongly believe that it is.
If my great grandmother was anything like my mother and my grandmother, she might have had a ... stormy relationship with her husband to say the least. My grandmother was separated from her husband for a long time. My mother was actually married five times. I think this ... sort of thing runs in families. (Perhaps it would not be too blunt to just call it dysfunction.) I have a hypothesis about this discrepancy that I found in the records concerning my great grandmother's household/address, which is that she was just constantly fighting with my great grandfather, and she was going back home to her mother a lot. Maybe they were never even REALLY married at all. Does that make sense?
Long story short I am trying to figure out if the two Wanda David's that I found are the same person. Also, her name never changed to my great grandfather's in the census. She was still Wanda David, even after both of her children were born. She was never listed as Wanda Donner on the census. But like I said, maybe they weren't ever really married? I'm trying to figure this out. She has her husband's surname on her tombstone, along with a birth year that is definitely not correct whether the supposed match I found is valid or not.
They had two children, one died when she was nine years old, the other lived a long-ish life. But I am thinking this tragic death probably added to the drama at home that I believe was probably already pretty hot and heavy already if she was anything like her daughter and granddaughter. I'm picturing her storming out of the place and going home, and showing up on the census with her mom, but I don't know.
Any ideas what this is all about? I'm so confused. I really think the two Wanda David's I found are the same person. They were born 3 years apart (supposedly) according to the various records that I found, and lived 2 towns apart, 12 miles, and it's a rare name, and it all makes a lot of sense to me. It is all in accord with the family history I was told and it is not a common name. I just can't understand why it says she lived with her mom for her entire life. I know this is a weird story. But can anyone offer me a tip to try to understand this? The tl;dr here is just that I don't think they ever had what people would describe as a "normal" relationship. Maybe they were never even really married at all. I am confused.